Holographic Kisses
by Ms. Marin
Summary: When all things fail, you kiss the stupid hologram! Based on S04E20 mild McShep


**Holographic Kisses**

Colonel John Sheppard was an exquisite soldier, but it was not humanly possible to move stealthily when one was up to their thighs with dense sand. He assumed to be in Afghanistan, he only dimly remembered the particulars of the landscape, but the feeling of decadence was unmistakable. A country torn apart by war could easily touch the heart of even the strongest of soldiers, like it had touched his. The faster he tried to move and the longer he walked, things only became more difficult.

The sand was coming up to his chest and he had to raise his arms in the air. He had no protection and the sand had soon enveloped him to his neck; John couldn't move and swallowing felt like having blades running down the inside of his throat. He couldn't call for help, nor did he have anything to use in order to save himself.

John thought he could feel sand trying to seep into his nostrils, seal off his ears and into body, filling him inside. He opened his mouth wide to scream for help, to scream for the only person he, unconsciously, knew could save him from such ill a fate.

Suddenly, all he could hear was a voice. At first it was but an echo of some familiar calling, but soon it was close to him, right by him, actually.

"Rodney!" John woke up screaming, sweaty and panting like he had just ran laps.

"John! Oh, thank God," Rodney said. "I-- I thought I'd lost you... again."

Rodney sounded like his usual self, yet he looked, quite frankly, older. He was kneeling beside John, looking paler than usual. John soon started to remember the solar flare and the sandstorm, unlike any he had witnessed in Afghanistan.

"I'm alright," John reassured Rodney... or better yet, _Rodney's Hologram_. "Where were we going again?"

"I was, as usual, about to save your ass, but right now we're sitting down until you pull yourself together," Rodney said. "I would help you lean against that wall over there, but, all things considered--"

John waved dismissively and did it himself. He was begging to catch his breath again and swallowing as much of his currently scarce saliva he could. It had only been a dream, just then, but one thing about it had been true: swallowing is a bitch when you have sand in your throat.

Rodney was soon beside him, silent for once. He still looked very concerned, but John couldn't know for sure if it had been the scare or if those were his constant features now.

"You look like hell, you know?" John said, very tactfully.

"Well, I'm flattered," Rodney snapped. "Here I am trying to save you as a 48,000 year hologram and that's all you can come up with?"

"I was never good at 'thoughtful', you can ask anyone," John said. "But I think you know best of all."

"Quite." Rodney shifted a bit in his place. "If it's an explanation you want, I can tell you the _brilliant_ Dr. McKay, at the time of my creation, hadn't seen you in 30 years and had been trying to save you for 25. How, exactly, did you expect him to look?"

John pondered. "Peachy?"

Rodney didn't bother with an answer, of course, he simply began telling the fates of everyone else in great detail... including Rodney's own.

John had never considered that his absence could create such an irreparable chain of events and it was, simply put, a hell of an ego boost. Nevertheless, what amazed him most of all was Rodney. Not only had him been trying to change history by sacrificing the rest of his own life to that purpose, he had also cared enough to do so.

After what seemed like no more than 10 minutes, Rodney was on his feet urging him up.

"I'm sorry I can't offer some happier endings. But, if we get moving right away maybe you'll help produce some better ones," he said. "C'mon, let's go."

The stasis pod looked cold and sad, it brought back no pleasant memories.

"It's the same one we put Carson in, a few-- _millions _of days ago," John pointed out. His chest clenched in anxiety. To this Rodney it had been a while and also only one of a number of tragedies, but to him it was only a matter of days; The wound was fresh and exposed, still.

"It's the one. Unfortunately we weren't able to save him in my timeline. Jennifer tried her best to defeat the disease and at the same time meddled with ways to prolong Carson's life, but the circumstances were unfavorable." A pained expression took over Rodney's aged face. "When I realized not even Carson would make it, I was, at last, alone. I'd wished for solitude my whole life and when I finally had it I realized it was not even close to what I really needed."

"It must've been hard for you all these years. To me it's just a few minutes, but to you--" John sighed. His mind could barely grasp the thought and his chest felt hollow when he tried to understand what it must have felt like to be utterly alone. "At least you had Jennifer."

"I had other priorities at the time and never really got to dedicate myself to a relationship," he laughed. "She knew that and didn't like it very much. Asking me to quit looking for you on her deathbed wasn't very pleasant, but she did it any way."

"Can't blame her. I was dead," John pointed out. "It was just you being stuck up."

"I never even considered you were dead. Knowing you were alive, somewhere, only made things a little more _troublesome_," he said, gesticulating. "When things started going badly for the mission nd worse yet for me, I realized I really needed you. But then again, I work better under pressure! Even from your empty grave you harassed me to success. Isn't it awesome?"

"Very!" John raised an eyebrow, taken aback. Then Rodney had wasted his life on trying to do what, exactly? Save him? The bastard.

"Now. You should be able to get into the pod and sleep for a little while. Then I'll cross my holographic fingers and hope this works. Otherwise, we're all dead." Rodney then began a long explanation of how he had come up with the solution and how it was going to work, but John was already used to filtering out the bits of Rodney's ramblings he had no use for.

It was hard to imagine Rodney admitting to needing anyone, and even harder to witness him sacrificing more than necessary for someone else. For a self-centered bastard he was showing some scary amounts of sentimentalism, and that pissed John off. If there was someone on his team who made the sacrifices, it was him, not Ronon nor Teyla and especially _not Rodney._ He often made sure of that, but this time he hadn't been there to make things right.

Without another thought John stepped out of the pod and came face to face with Rodney's hologram.

"McKay, you bastard! You wasted your life on me, of all people! You could've had a happy life on Earth, you could've loved Jennifer and been a good uncle," John bellowed. "For crying out loud, how dare you!"

"I couldn't have a happy life with the thought of you alive nagging me every hour of the day. I wanted nothing more than to bring you back, I knew all along that was what I was meant to do and I did it," Rodney said matter-of-factly. "I don't regret it for a second and I would not do it any differently. Besides, I was the only one who could do something so complex. I'm as good in 'complex' as you suck at 'thoughtful'. Now you step into that stasis pod before we never get another shot at this!"

John looked downwards, part ashamed, part suddenly hopeful that this would work and he wouldn't have to deal with sentimental McKay ever again.

"Fine." He stepped into the stasis pod and nodded at Rodney for approval.

"Perfect. Now I'll just turn this thing on and be done with it." John cleared his throat suddenly. Rodney seemed annoyed. "What now?"

"I won't come out a vegetable or anything unnatural?"

"Of course not. I've got this," Rodney informed boldly. "I'm a genius," he then tapped at his temples and continued to work on the crystals.

John was ready to believe that sufficed, since he obviously trusted Rodney, but he still had that fluttery feeling in his stomach that would not recede. Apparently, his insecurity was showing quite blatantly, for Rodney had soon stopped his work and taken to attentively watching John with his usual clenched jaw of nervousness.

"Ha!" John smiled, amused. "Hundreds of thousands of years and you're still the same, McKay. I'm kind of glad."

Rodney nodded and forced one of his half crooked smiles. "That's true, unfortunately."

As if propelled by John's words, Rodney stepped forward and, in a clear act of impulse which did not do much to mask his nervousness, touched his holographic lips to John's. The hologram tickled against John's lips and then seemed to melt right through. There was no physical contact, but the principle was the same; The make believe kiss brought warmth to John's body and he was no longer tired and his hopes were renewed.

They eventually parted, as was only natural, yet something kept John and Rodney close together under heavy silence. It was clearer still for John that he had urgently to go back; He never again wanted to see such loneliness in Rodney's eyes.

"I really have to go now," he whispered.

"Yes, of course."

They stepped away in unison and John took his place within the stasis pod. He took a deep breath and grinned.

"See you soon."

"Be safe," Rodney replied, simply.

It was the last thing John heard and saw before falling fast asleep.

~*~

Atlantis had never seemed so bright and lively as when John stepped through the gate. Samantha came to meet him and Rodney was just behind. John pushed through the crowd that had quickly gathered, charging in Rodney's direction. John smiled and without second thought had Rodney wrapped in a tight hug.

"Welcome home, I guess," Rodney said meekly, patting John's back before being released at last.

"Did I _ever _tell you you're a _genius_, McKay?"

"No..."

"Well, you are!" John confessed, in high pitched stupor.

_FIN_

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A/N: And that is all! A short fic that has been sitting in my HD for the longest time, from a day way back when I re-watched this particular episode. : )

It started as a fleeting thought of, "What would it be like to kiss a hologram?!" that escalated into... this. I know it's _nearly_ a pointless rewrite, but I guess the fun I had while adding slashy undertones to this thing pay off its apparent uselessness!!! Ha!

So... taking it for what it is, how was it? Good? Rambl-y? Please let me know. : )


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